Whether you grew up in the 80’s, 90’s, or the 2000’s, your first video game experience was probably on a Nintendo console. If you didn’t rock out to Superman while playing that blue cartridge of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater with the clear purple controller then your childhood must have been terrible. All Nintendo needs to do is flash the triforce or Link’s shield to bitch slap you with nostalgia.

Nintendo’s new console, the Switch, is set to come out on March 3rd for $300 and it should be their way to take back the crown. A perfect mix of console and handheld gaming. If you tell me I can play a new Zelda at home then pick it up and play it on the go I am ready to give you all of my money. Zelda, Super Mario Odyssey, and Splatoon all look awesome, there is not denying that. Besides those games is where the problems start to come.

The console really can be a huge hit, the hardware itself looks and feels perfect, but man, its got a lot of problems before its even out the gate. It isnt powerful by any means, it isnt going to play any current gen titles from 3rd party developers, system storage is abysmal at 32gb, and it doesnt have any sort of streaming apps. What kind of device doesnt at least have Netflix?  Even the accessories are ridiculously expensive. Seriously, $70 for a normal controller? $80 for a second set of Joycon controllers? $90 for a charging dock which doesnt add any processing power to the system and is just a way to display it on a tv? Kick fucking rocks Nintendo.

It is quite literally a plastic holder with USB-C plug to the system for power, HDMI output, and a USB slot. You got me Nintendo, this thing is definitely worth almost a third of the entire system.

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They cant get out of their own way. 5 games at launch? Only game of substance is Zelda. 1, 2 switch sure does look great doesnt it? Who wouldnt want to play a game where you pretend to eat a sandwich or have to hold your switch like a baby so that it doesnt cry? Sounds like a blast! Add on the fact that this is the first console to be released where theyve barely released any information. No word on the online infrastructure, nothing about the Virtual Console (a way to play classic games)  and if it will even be there at launch or if previous purchases will carry over, and no concrete information on the specs of the hardware. Its a god damn mess. Good luck even trying to find one for the next 6 months. Nintendo’s practice of artificial scarcity is complete bullshit. Theyve pulled it with every console theyve released. Limit the stock to create a buzz. They just did it 4 months ago with the NES Classic. A $60 emulator you still cant find in stores. Cant wait to see the Switch selling on ebay for $800 cause its bound to happen.

Either way if the console is a success or failure I’ll be happy. On one hand it might blow away expectations, play some solid games from 1st and 3rd party developers, and bring Nintendo back into the conversation.On the other hand it can bomb the way the Fischer Price WiiU did and maybe, just maybe, they will get out of the console market and let me play Mario and Zelda on my PS4.

To their credit they do make a great commercial