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New York Post- Paranoid New Yorkers now have a speedy way out of the city should disaster strike. Chris Dowhie, co-owner of Plan B Marine, runs a marine evacuation service which advertises the fastest possible way out of Manhattan.

Whether it’s power failure, blackouts, grid failure, bad weather, flooding or a terrorist attack, Dowhie’s clients want to be prepared for doomsday.

“A lot of people don’t want to wait on a line to get on a ferry, and they don’t want to worry about walking off of Manhattan, as people had to do in the past,” Dowhie told The Post.

“They know a boat is the fastest way, and we take the worry out of maintaining and preparing and always readying your vessel,” he added.

Not only does the company promise a speedy getaway, it plans individual evacuation routes for each person, depending on their personal needs.

Dowhie — who believes people can’t rely on others during an emergency — teaches clients how to operate the boats themselves.

“You don’t have a captain. You have to drive this boat yourself,” Dowhie told The Post, adding that in a crisis, people are more concerned with helping their own families than maneuvering someone else’s escape vehicle.

The military boats, one of which is a former Coast Guard vessel, are made to withstand challenging conditions. This particular boat can fit up to 10 people.

“It’s a sealed hull, unsinkable, and it provides rollover protection. As long as your doors are shut, if the boat rolls over, it will self-right itself,” Dowhie said of the Coast Guard boat, which he adds is one of the safest around.

The unique evacuation service costs an annual fee of $90,000 and is catered toward wealthy individuals and corporations who don’t have time to mastermind their own escape.

Clients access the boats with an individual punch-in number, and should they need to abandon it at any time, Dowhie’s company will locate it.

“We track the boats with GPSs, if you leave it at a different location than was planned, we will find it and retrieve it,” Dowhie told The Post.

I guess you have to hand it to this dude and his genius aquatic pyramid scheme hes got going on here. So you pay him 90 grand a year, and if/when something happens and you have to get out of Manhattan, he will have your evacuation route ready and a boat waiting for you to get out of dodge. I for one, can’t wait until Manhattan goes underwater and 45 billionaires show up only to find this guy only had one boat all along. While theoretically it sounds like a wise safety precaution for any rich dude with a family, there are quite a few gaping holes in this doomsday plan.

“They know a boat is the fastest way, and we take the worry out of maintaining and preparing and always readying your vessel,”

First things first, Chris. A boat is not the fastest way out of Manhattan. I’ll take a helicopter over the dinghies your slinging any day of the week and twice on Sunday, so lets  just get that out of the way.

The military boats, one of which is a former Coast Guard vessel, are made to withstand challenging conditions. This particular boat can fit up to 10 people.“It’s a sealed hull, unsinkable, and it provides rollover protection. As long as your doors are shut, if the boat rolls over, it will self-right itself,” Dowhie said of the Coast Guard boat, which he adds is one of the safest around.

Hey Captain Ahab, remember the last boat that was said to be unsinkable? Well that thing ended up 2 miles down at the bottom of the ocean. Lets pump the breaks a little bit on that claim, its a bit taboo in the marine community. Plus, your talking about a Coast Guard boat… which you have one of. ONE. I would love to know what other kind vessels make up the rest of the fleet.

“We track the boats with GPSs, if you leave it at a different location than was planned, we will find it and retrieve it,” Dowhie told The Post.

Yep because when the zombie apocalypse hits, or the electromagnetic pulse cripples the entire east coast I’m sure Chris is going to stick to his word and hole up with his “Find my Doomsday Boat” app and point me in the right direction.

And another thing. What determines when I can/can’t use this thing? Does the service send out an email saying ” Official apocalypse, your vessel is now eligible for evacuation?” Or can I determine the stipulations? I pretty much treat the traffic during the Puerto Rico day parade the same way I would treat an airborne chemical attack, so can I pop in my boat for that? Or if it’s a really late night and I don’t have money for a cab back home can I punch in my digits and hit the open water? I mean its my boat right? For less than 90K I can keep a Jet Ski fueled up and docked at 79th street and I can use that bad boy whenever I want.