Ok there’s a lot to digest in this one. I’ll avoid the easter eggs that cracked open a world of Nerd talk and just discuss the basics. If you’re interested in the origins of Vulture and how it pertains to the Marvel Cinematic Universe than you can just give that a Google on your own time.

That New Suit:
Before this was released yesterday we already knew from Civil War that Tony Stark gave Spider-man his new suit to replace the home-made costume and it was all jazzed up with some cool tech. The shutter eyes to help him focus and the web wings for gliding were already put on display in trailers, but now we got some more.
-Ever wonder how he put that skin tight suit on? Simple! He just throws on the XXXL costume, taps his chest and PRESTO it shrinks and contours to his body.  I know we’re supposed to suspend reality for this shit but c’mon, the physics of that makes zero sense. I understand that a never ending supply of super strong webbing shooting out of his wrist makes even less sense, but I can’t help what I get hung up on. The wonder fabric bothers me.
-Also we got that flying spider coming out of his chest logo. They’re calling it a “Spidey Drone” and you can get an explanation of it here.  It seems similar to Falcon’s little robot bird. It’s just another thing that doesn’t need to be there, but ups the wow factor. I’ll hold off on calling it stupid until I see what it does. For the record: Falcon’s bird thing is very stupid.

That Old Suit:
Iron Man gets pissy about giving a billion dollars worth of tech to a high schooler and is shocked that he makes a mistake or two so he takes it away. I get that. But how about the balls on Mr. Stark to say “If you’re nothing without this suit then you shouldn’t have it”…. Umm dude you are a “super hero” because you step inside a fucking robot powered by a computer that talks to you. You’ve already proven you can make an army of these suits that operate entirely on their own. What exactly do you bring to the table? Your decision making capability? Because the Sarkovia Accords were created because you kept fucking up and making bad decisions that almost destroyed the planet. Grow up.
So we get to see Spider Man in action in a sweatsuit. That’s cool. I’m assuming at the end he’ll earn the respect of Iron Man and blah blah blah he’ll roll out an entirely new billion dollar suit. Maybe it’ll be the Iron Spider? That’d be nice.


Michael Keaton Was Made For This.
In terms of modern day super heroes, Keaton is the OG. He’s the one that took the shitty superman of the 80’s and the hilarious batman of the 50’s and brought it to a new level that adults could appreciate and kids could love. You could argue that Keaton’s tenure as Batman is the reason for the success of today’s super hero genre. His work in Birdman  was incredible because it was rooted in reality… an actor who gained success as a super hero way before his time and was left out and forgotten about during the current super hero boom? That’s Keaton.
I fully admit I know very little about Spider-Man villains so The Vulture is new territory for me. Growing up I thought Spidey was dumb as shit and never cared about him or his villains. That being said, I think Vulture might be my guy. He’s an engineer who is pissed off because he has to clean up after these super heroes and he finally snaps and creates rocket booster wings to kill the heroes, specifically the ability-gifted punk kid? Sign me up. That’s a backstory most of us can get behind and relate to.  And like I said… it’s Keaton.