So last night I’m laying in bed, watching my stories when all of a sudden the sound of death starts pouring through the window. Give this a listen.



There is a big pit in our yard. It’s basically right out that window, so we figured this was an animal that got lost (do wild animals get lost?) and was calling out for help from its fellow animal friends. It sounded a lot like a cry for help. I one hundred percent thought there was an injured coyote or a coyote being raped outside our window. It was a terrible noise.

Thanks to google we were able to pinpoint this animal call as the vixen scream of a male fox. Basically, this means we had a fox keeping the entire neighborhood awake just because it was horny. Incredibly rude of the fox. That would never fly in human world.

The real question is; is the vixen scream the worst pick-up line of all time? I know they say catcalling doesn’t work but this is a whole ‘nother level. This fox was basically sitting in nature and letting every animal around know that if someone didn’t fuck him he was going to kill himself. That’s how desperate the vixen scream is. Sometimes desperate works. Like in high school when I told my chemistry teacher, ‘hey teach, I know I was an asshole all year long and I didn’t do homework and I didn’t study, which led to me getting a D in class but if I get a D then I can’t go to college and if I can’t go to college my parents will be so upset with themselves so can you just give me a C?” See, that… that was so desperate it worked. But this fox? I would never fuck this fox.

Would you?


P.S. hosting a nature show is a thrill



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