Well first things first here. What kind of keg requires a wooden mallet to tap? What country is making beer consumption this difficult? Are we in Medieval Times? This looks like it was taken straight out of Beauty and the Beast with the wooden furniture, and the large glass mugs. I was expecting Gaston to bust through some saloon doors, crack that bad boy on his forehead, and shotgun the entire thing without spilling a drop.

Instead we have that stereotypical friend making a complete fool of themselves. You know the guy. The one who HAS to light the grill (burns all his hair off), HAS to mount your TV for you ( rips out of the wall in 2 hours), HAS to change his oil himself (car’s engine seizes) and just HAS to tap the hipster style keg of craft beer like hes Paul Bunyan (bukkake’s the entire room with beer foam).

I’m more of a “sit back and watch the entire plan back fire while harboring zero responsibility for any failure” type of guy, but if you have the itch to save the day I have a little pro tip for you:

Sometimes most of the times it pays to be the second or third guy to attempt anything an entire group trying to figure out. You know how the last person who opens a mayo jar is automatically the alpha and everyone who attempted previously is clinging onto ” I loosened it for you”? Well you always want to be the guy that opens the mayo jar, and you want it to looks as easy as humanly possible. Let the first assholes spend their energy and brain power on solving a problem, watch what they are doing wrong, and just swoop in and save the day like you have been there 1000 times. Minimum effort for maximum coolness.