The New York Post

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — A Dubai firm’s dream of towing icebergs from the Antarctic to the Arabian Peninsula could face some titanic obstacles.Where many see the crumbling polar ice caps as a distressing sign of global warming, the National Advisor Bureau Limited sees it as a source of profit, and a way of offsetting the effects of climate change in the increasingly sweltering Gulf.

The firm has drawn up plans to harvest icebergs in the southern Indian Ocean and tow them 5,700 miles away to the Gulf, where they could be melted down for freshwater and marketed as a tourist attraction.“The icebergs are just floating in the Indian Ocean. They are up for grabs to whoever can take them,” managing director Abdullah al-Shehi told The Associated Press in his Dubai office. He hopes to begin harvesting them by 2019.

It is perhaps no surprise that the idea would originate in Dubai, which is already famous for its indoor ski slope, artificial islands and the world’s tallest building. But the plan to harvest icebergs faces a wide array of legal, financial and logistical hurdles – and environmentalists are less than thrilled.

The firm would send ships down to Heard Island, an Australian nature reserve in the southern Indian Ocean, where they would steer between massive icebergs the size of cities in search of truck-sized chunks known as growlers. Workers would then secure them to the boats with nets and embark on a yearlong cruise to the United Arab Emirates.

Dubai coming in hot with maybe the cockiest intercontinental move yet. Much to all the billionaire sheiks’ amazement, erecting a city in the middle of a desert has problems getting fresh water. Who would have known? So the obvious solution here is to go steal the city sized chunks of ice hanging out in one of the coldest areas of the world, drag them up to the fucking Arabian peninsula that clocks in over a hundred degrees on the reg. Safe to say they don’t air any Three Stooges re-runs out there.

It doesn’t take a climatologist to realize that this idea is more counter-intuitive than trying to put out a fire with a flame-thrower. Science stays pretty consistent regardless of the scale. It’s like when you put ice-cube in a hot cup of tea or a bowl of soup to cool it down. You can see the ice-cube melting rapidly by the second. Doesn’t stand a chance. Same concept, except the soup is an ocean and the ice cube is the size of Manhattan. How anyone can spin this as a way to slow climate change just blows my mind. Stopping the rising sea levels by bringing all the ice into the sun. Sounds legit. Then again, this is coming from a country that loves fucking with the natural order of the planet. Indoor ski slopes, man made islands. Just force feeding mother nature like a child who won’t eat their vegetables.

And the balls on this Abdullah cat waltzing around like its the wild wild west. There just loads of this fucking ice, and its free for the taking, come on guys! He tells people he doesn’t drink because he’s a devout Muslim, but the truth is he can’t get any damn ice for his Mojito.