It’s all fun and games until you see a grown man inexplicably untie the wrong shoe on the hood of a cop car. We were all laughing and having a great time joking about spelling the alphabet backwards and doing the whole “Tigers back!/ Make Sundays Great Again!” bit…. but WHOOPS! this is actually depressing as hell. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

But I’m here with good news! That wasn’t Tiger. Well technically that was his actual body but Tiger wasn’t really there. He was on a different planet by the looks of it, and if you’re on a different planet then you can’t be brought up on charges for napping on the side of the road after mixing booze into your bottle pain pills. That’s bird law. 

Stay strong big guy. I’ll wear red every Sunday till you’re exonerated.