Wonder Woman- June 2nd

Well it’s DC’s next chapter of the Justice League saga…. but you know what? This might not suck. Batman v Superman sucked, Suicide Squad kinda sucked, and by the sounds of things Justice League has a strong chance at sucking too. But Wonder Woman has a chance here. Not because of the rah rah woman power bullshit, but because it appears to be an origin story that has it’s own purpose instead of just a 2 hour set up towards the next movie. Imagine that.
PS big shout out to the Texas theater doing a woman-only screening, which includes only female staff on hand. Can’t wait for the boys-only Thor screening in November… that’ll definitely be a thing right?

The Mummy- June 9th

Can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I’m giving this my full endorsement. Yes, I’m endorsing a reboot starring Tom Cruise. Why? besides the fact that it looks incredible? Well the first Mummy starring Brendan Frazier had plenty of issues, mostly the fact that it starred Brendan Frazier. Also it suffered from a lack of decent CGI tech to carry the weight of story’s mythical monsters. The Mummy is a great story and it deserves a second chance.

 

All Eyez On Me- June 16th

Remember when holographic 2Pac was a thing at Cochella in 2012? Well it looks like that was just a test drive for this movie, right? HOW DID THEY DIG UP 2PAC? Is he not dead? That actor is a dead ringer for Pac (pun… haha) Regardless of the visuals, 2Pac’s story is pretty interesting I guess because of his death, but I feel like he wasn’t much different than NWA or Snoop. Although I’m a white guy from Boston so I fully admit to knowing nothing on the subject.
One thing I do know: This movie will be sold out for months in Compton.

 

Rough Night- June 16th

I wanted to hate this, but it has ScarJo and pretty much the only 3 female comedians I find funny so I’m prepared to give it a shot. BUT IM NOT GIVING IT A PASS ON RIPPING OFF A WONDERFUL 90s CULT CLASSIC. That’s right, this has Very Bad Things written all over it. That movie was incredible. Just a wrecking crew of quality B & C list actors.

 

Cars 3- June 16th

I’ve never seen Cars 1 or 2. I never had any interest in them at all. That being said, if I find this on HBO one day I might settle in and give it a shot. It looks pretty decent for a Pixar movie aimed at 10 year olds.

 

Transformers: The Last Knight- June 21st

I’m not about to pretend I understand what’s going on in this thing, but it looks like a legit clusterfuck that threads the needle into awesomeness. All I do know is that this will wrap up the Transformer franchise, and that it won’t be nearly as bad as Transformers 2. I gotta be honest, I felt weird watching Optimus take Bee to the woodshed, but hey thats the autobot life I suppose.
One thing that just popped up in a different teaser trailer is the appearance of the Dinobots. Yes Dinosaur robots. I bet they’ll try to make that into their own movie and I don’t blame them one bit.  Money is money.

 

Baby Driver – June 28th

I can’t make heads or tails of this one. I’m so up and down throughout the trailer like a roller coaster. The title sucks, and Baby seems like a douche, but it has a MONSTER cast and who doesn’t love a good car chase? but then they go back into it with the waitress which seems like an odd bit of leverage for someone he just met at a diner. I’m sure there’s more to it than that but the trailer didn’t help me find it.
If I’m going with my gut…. I’m saying it looks good. They couldn’t possibly sign Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx, AND Kevin Spacey to a bag of shit movie, so it must be decent.

 

Despicable Me 3- June 30th

Yup, another one.  It makes sense. Can’t hate on it, money is money.  I’ll definitely laugh at this and I won’t be ashamed either.

 

The House- June 30th

Ok, fuck it. Let’s all pretend Will Farrell is still in his prime and not turning into Eddie Murphy cranking out crap movies. I bet he still has at least one fastball left in him. Maybe this is it?? Maybe this will be completely hilarious and we didn’t just see all the funny parts in the trailer. Maybe this will be a good ol’ fashioned comedy where everything blows up in their faces and there isn’t some crap wishy-washy happy ending. That’s all I want. I want that daughter to go to college and I want Will Ferrell to fall deep into an underground gambling ring, never to be seen again. That’s what I want.