It’s been a few days since I made my radio debut representing Half-Glass and I wanted to get my thoughts about it out there.
Overall: not awesome. I’m happy with how I handled things, I didn’t embarrass myself and I didn’t sound like a crazy person. In fact, I might have been the most grounded person in the room aside from the host. I tried to roll with some of the things they were saying but it definitely went off the rails a few times and I tried my best to keep it under control but that just wasn’t possible. I got a little uncomfortable at times because I felt like it was turning into a joke- which is the last thing I wanted because we were discussing real people’s deaths.
A breakdown of the show as it unfolded:
00:00, As soon as I sit down I’m thrown for a loop because this guy sits down across from me in an African shirt. I was the 2nd segment so I had already been in studio for an hour at this point and this guy just showed up. I was terrified. I thought maybe this was a relative of a victim or someone there to refute my theory. Whoever it was, I wasn’t prepared for an argument. Panic.
00:40, Oh he’s a co-host who barely shows up. Cool. We’re good.
01:41, Ok so they’ve done a ton of chit chat, feels like an eternity, introducing everyone in the room, “and we have a guest!”… but then whoops side tracked about an ad image, then a discussion about the last guest, and I’m left hanging. So awkward. So so awkward.
03:02, HEY THEY’RE INCLUDING ME!! He called me a writer! He said Half Glass! (last time that’s mentioned) He mispronounced my name but it’s ok! We’re in business now. Lets talk about this serial killer theory.
04:19, Got to give my first real thought. Barely stuttered! Nailed it!!
04:25, who the fuck is sending him my blog telling him he needs to talk to me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered, but to think I’m worthy of an interview because I posted a blog about another blog I read is just WILD.
04:51, “good looking young man”… why thank you sir!
05:01, in reference to me not getting murdered: “are you jealous it didn’t happen?”… THE FUCK?!? This guy is Warren. A comment like that is a sure fire sign to avoid him at all costs in this discussion. He only gets weirder.
06:00, well well well.. looks like I’m informed on the subject. NBD.
06:45, so you’re saying this story has nothing to do with the serial killer theory? you just wanted to say a dead body washed up near your house? Good story.
07:35, ok I need to correct myself. I was slightly mistaken. Jonathan Daily’s death was not determined to be a suicide like I said. Police said there was no foul play. So unless they think he tripped, got tangled in chains and cinder blocks, and fell into the water… they’re basically saying suicide.
08:52, I get a chance to give my rational take.
09:51, Love a good movie reference. Nailed it too.
10:30, and we’ve ruined the flow with an irrational reference to police killing black people. Sweet. You can see me cringe so hard in this moment. Oh and “everyone is somebody’s kid” just in case you weren’t aware.
11:18, this is where the interview dies. Fuckin sirens and mermaids and x-files… GTFO with that shit. We were talking about a pretty serious issue and you come with that? Big thanks. The host and I tried to get it back on track talking about other relevant cases, but it didn’t last.
13:00, Bar Bouncers talk. They’re the worst group of people on earth (mostly)
14:24, I talk with my hands a lot. Good to know.
14:38, Hostel reference. This is probably as crazy a theory as I’ll get behind in regards to this story. It’s not wild to think these guys are getting drugged, taken, used and dumped. It’s a sick world out there.
14:51, ….I DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR XFILES/SUPERNATURAL SHIT. IM IGNORING YOU.
15:19, more race talk. But this was funny
16:00, I would actually guarantee the killer has a car, Lauren. I don’t think you’re getting what I’m saying here.
16:22, locked and loaded. The one common denominator in all these deaths is the Boston Police. Really wish I got a chance to elaborate on their inability to find bodies but that’s just not how this went.
16:45, here come’s Warren again with his completely relevant takes. THIS was bad for the interview. I don’t care about the serial killer in his hometown. It’s like he was trying to prove serial killers exist and targeting men is totally possible… thanks big guy. Oh but don’t worry, Lauren wants you to know it happens to women too. So now we’ve established that serial killers can target men, AND women. Wild stuff.
17:40, Lauren saying “it’s not even funny” to the jokes being made on facebook… you can see me give her a “are you fucking serious” glance… she’s a big reason for all of this. Let me try to bring this back. LET ME TRY PLEASE. I almost did it too. For about a minute.
18:52, “Comm Ave Pusher”, someone pushing pedestrians into traffic. Gotta be honest, I can see this being a very real thing. And I think the Pusher would get a lot of support from the the people of Boston.
19:12, “What if it’s pigeons” -Warren. “What if it’s a creature pulling people into the water” – Lauren… Thank god Mike the host FINALLY told them to shut the fuck up. Didn’t work.
20:28, a new parasite theory. Interesting. BUT THEN LAUREN WITH THE CIA BULLSHIT. God damn, these people are dead set on making this a joke. Mike was my only friend in that room. And everything Warren said was crushingly stupid.
22:08, Dammit, I used the wrong name. DAMMIT!!! I MESSED UP!!!
22:26, Mike is asking me if I’ve reached out to the Police?? You serious? What the hell would I say to them? “I think you’re doing a bad job, here’s why… and btw you should totes watch out for a serial killer”
24:11, I gotta disagree with Mike here. I don’t think the police should be making all these surveillance videos of guys falling into the water public. There’s still a family involved. All they need to do is tell the public “last seen falling into the water in this location at this time”. thats it… and then it goes off the rails again into some “everyone’s watching you” thing. Shocker.
This is where the interview winds down and gets off topic entirely before wrapping it up.
28:16, Officially wrapping this thing up. Mike points out how Lauren is on the “crap list”, and asks if she’d been drinking on the show again. Well rewind to when I first arrived in the studio- first thing she tells me is she’s been drinking all day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This ends with Warren getting his mic removed. Wow. Took forever.
29:08,… waiting for them to mention me again, say thank you, something. It’s getting awkward. Just give me a chance to mention my blog for 10 seconds. That’s all I wanted. Just do that…. Maybe I’ll try and initiate it? Ok here I go..”Hey thanks for having me on..” and I’m cut off, get lost in the shuffle, and byyeeeeeeeeee
Could’ve gone better. Could’ve been way worse too. Not bad overall though. Pretty sure I’ll never be asked to come back.