Of all the cringe-worthy sounds you could possible encounter on the internet, the crisp **ping** of an aluminum bat to skull may be the worst. You know how OG baseball scouts can determine a prospects’ hitting skills by just listening to the crack of the bat? Or how Roy Munson was able to tell Ishmael bowled a strike just by listening to the crash of the bowling pins in Kingpin? Well same thing goes when a 30 ounce Easton connects with the skull of a man. You just instantly inhale a hiss with your jaw clenched like you just ingested a ghost pepper.  You know that man is down for the count with some serious brain bleeding.

You see, I’m not exactly the leading expert when it comes to weaponized street fights. As a suburb raised white dude, the most appalling thing I noticed from this video was the lack of landscaping. But one thing I do know, is when your the guy wielding the knife and your going up against the best switch hitter since Pete Rose you have to realize that distance is your enemy.  If you find yourself in the ring with Sonny Liston, you don’t hang back, you want to try and keep as close to him as possible. You never want to be in a position where he can reach you, and you can’t reach him.

He had the right idea with the height advantage, but at what point do you just say “Fuck it” and jump at your enemy like flying squirrel ready to filet a neighbor. I think the third shin strike warrants it. Maybe the second.  Sure you may catch a crack on the descent, but once your tussling on the ground and getting intimate, the knife becomes MUCH more useful. Much better approach then sticking your face right in the guys wheel house.

So that’s my hindsight advice to this guy. Jump at your opponent, and cut your fucking lawn. Detroit… such a lovely slice of Americana, huh?