Earlier tonight Big Papi’s number was retired at Fenway. Not shocking obviously, we’ve all known this was coming since like 2008 and nobody could/would argue otherwise (unlike that shithead Wade Boggs. Fuck Wade Boggs)

Watching the ceremony made some memories resurface that reminded me why Ortiz is such a huge part of Red Sox life, and it’s more than just stats and numbers. Ortiz is one of those players that has the ability to create memorable moments on a regular basis and since he stayed on one team for so long it’s easy to forget about some of them.  Yeah he hit a shit ton of home runs and won us a bunch of games and brought home 3 World Series Championships…. but the non-baseball stuff was the difference. That’s the stuff that made you feel like you knew him as a person. The things that let you know he was having fun and actually liked being apart of our city.

For all the Yankees fans out there who have this deep feeling of disdain for Papi despite their respect towards him as a player- Ortiz is like our Jeter, but Ortiz has shown he loves us. Jeter didn’t give a fuck about you…. you know it’s true.

Remember that time Ortiz held a random baby during the national anthem in KC?


How about when Ortiz beat the absolute shit out of the dugout phone? (of course you do)


Ortiz and Koji had a unique celebration hug at the foul line after every win in 2013.


Papi went to Japan in his PRIME in some showcase game and showed the country the difference between their gyro-ball bullshit and some good ol’ fashioned MLB longball action.


In April of his first season with the Sox he hit his first home run in Anaheim in the 14th inning and all the announcer could talk about was his previous post season with the Twins and the camera kept showing Ben Affleck and JLo. Wild to think this future legend’s first home run was so under appreciated. Wild.

I remember the first time I saw Ortiz at bat. I was in high school and I said to my friend “That dude is a monster. Look at his neck” and we joked about him snapping the pitcher in half over his knee like a bat…. I was like 14.


No one can forget him barging into Francona’s press conference furious over a stat change. Boston media ran with it calling him selfish and only thinking about his own stats…. but I mean c’mon, his only job is to hit and get rbi’s. They messed with his numbers.


How often do you see a brawl occur before the ball in play has even hit the ground? Ortiz doesn’t care. He’ll kill you if you mouth off to him after throwing inside like that. Even in a blowout win.


He might not be the best actor, but he’s definitely not the worst. And he’s responsible for the best “this is sportscenter” video ever

can’t leave out his retirement commercial either. Loved those ideas… “papi gonna be rich”


I could list a bunch of Papi moments, most of which I can’t find online anymore. One in particular was an interview he did on NESN like 15 years ago when he was decked out head to toe in Denver Nuggets baby blue jersey, sweatband, wristbands, shoes, just ridiculous even by that time’s standards.
But I can’t have a list without including this. Maybe the only time someone was pardoned by the FCC for saying “fuck” on live television because they said “well… we understand. It’s ok”