Ah Brazil. The Siberia of South America, except instead of jumping off  buildings into 30 foot tall snow banks, they parachute off their balconies in sandals to go grab some groceries like they just snapped the first picture of Mr. Deeds. Just an incredibly dramatic video from the start. The life or death instructions he’s giving his squad. The wife audibly trembling with her new born baby, waiting in agony to see the quite possible and gruesome death of her husband. Just so many emotions running around, all because this dude saw Point Break a couple days ago and drunkenly ordered a parachute off of eBay.

Listen, I love the internet. I love buying things off the internet.  It’s convenient as fuck. What everyone knows is that when you purchase something online, there is always a possibility that what you are paying for is not what you receive. Just the nature of the game. Which is why it blows my mind this guy but his life in the hands of a parachute bought from a total stranger half way across the globe.

I ordered an electric toothbrush off of Amazon the other day, and it just didn’t come with a charger. Norelco just forgot to put it in the box, nope no charging for you. Now this was no life or death situation and was quickly remedied with an online return, but the point still remains: screw ups happen. For me it was no charger. For this guy it could have been a faulty parachute. I don’t know maybe some bugs chewed away at the fabric. Maybe it wasn’t packed right. Whatever. Chapstick, boxer-briefs, bulk condoms…some things you buy online. Parachutes, automobiles, expensive jewlery… you buy that shit in person.

P.S. I hope this guy was able to land at a buddies place, because there is no way his wife is letting him sleep at home that night.