Hot day for eclipse talk. You were either the type of person who was excited for this spectacle, or the type of person who laughed at the people who were excited.
I was both.
I started the day off waking up in the mountains of beautiful Los Gatos California only to find the world covered in fog. Not ideal for sun peeping. I hadn’t cared about this eclipse or spent a single moment concerning myself with it, but the girl has been all jacked up about it and even bought a few sets of paper glasses on Amazon for probably $75. The fog, in her eyes, was a disaster. That meant only one thing- it had become my problem to fix. That perfect viewing spot in the corner of the yard was USELESS therefore we had to pack our shit and drive somewhere, anywhere at 9am to find a replacement perfect viewing spot.
Luckily that wasn’t so difficult, just a quick trip down the mountain and we found ourselves a sweet plot of land with some nice tree branches framing the the shot. Beautiful. Look at that non-eclipsed sun.
It was at this moment I decided to throw on those stupid glasses and burn my eyes forever. I had no confidence in these flimsy online con-job glasses and figured for sure I’d be one of the millions of Americans who forfeited their sight for a chance to see the sun look different for a brief moment. Why did I look through these glasses despite my complete lack of confidence and interest in the situation? Well, every now and then you need to put it all on the line for the chance to say “I told you so”. Had I lost my sight, I would have a trump card for decades to come.
There was a crowd behind us with a bunch of LOSERS who were looking through telescopes and boxes and their phones. They thought they were having a great time, but they had no idea what they were missing out on with a good pair of eclipse glasses.
I was riding high for maybe ten minutes, then I came back to reality and realized I was just standing in a park staring at the sky. Once the initial excitement wore off it was all over. I just hung out and waited for the girl to get her fill before we packed up her camera and left.
You think that’s where this story ends, but OH NO. Here’s where we get that M Night Shamalan twist. On our way back up the mountain we drove past hundreds of people lining the highways trying to get a good glimpse of things. They were 5 minutes away from a perfectly nice park with a better view. Idiots.
But here’s the real kicker. As we made our way home getting higher and higher and getting back into the fog, we found out there was a little “sweet spot” where the fog was light enough to see the sun, but heavy enough to shield our eyes from the blinding rays.
So after all that, the last minute race down to sunshine, the purchasing of paper glasses, all we had to do was drive down the highway and look through the sunroof. I’ve seen a lot of garbage stock photos of this year’s eclipse today, and I’m confident when I say this photo taken by the girl is the best of them all. Suck on that, National Geographic.