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I’m a big GOT guy. Huge. My world stops every Sunday at 9pm just like everyone else, but I’m getting a little pissed off at how things are going this season. I could write a novel on all the things I love about the show but the rest of the internet already does that. And I’m typically a negative person anyways so it’s easier for me to focus on the things that irritate me.

 

1- A lot of people should be dead.

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Jamie Lannister should have drown. Jon Snow should have drown. That big ginger Tormond should have been eaten by dead people. That whole bad-ass crew of manhunters that went north of the wall should be dead. Somewhere along the line (when they went off-book) it became clear that some characters have gotten too big to fail die. Killing main characters is what made Thrones great. I don’t care about 1 of 3 dragons, I don’t care about that priest guy, and I certainly don’t care about Anonymous Wildling #1- the guy who got eaten by a zombie polar bear, and Anonymous Wildling #2- the guy who got eaten by dead people. Give me a major death ASAP.

 

2- Logistics don’t matter, but they should matter a little.

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I hate those people who bitch about the timeline. It’s a television show about a fantasy land… if you’re worried about how fast someone travels in the show then you are too deep in the nerd weeds and need to take a walk outside for a bit.
HOWEVER, it’s getting pretty absurd. It’s almost as if the writers are listening to the nerds complain and trying to push their buttons. I mean, how does Jon walk a few days in the snow, get in trouble, send a guy to run back to the wall to send a bird to the southern tip of the country asking for help, and get rescued by dragons all in the course of like 2 days? Fine, I’ll play dumb and go along with it. But Cersei got her hair chopped off 2 years ago and it still hasnt grown back. Explain that shit.

 

3- The writers are covering up lazy story telling by finally giving us things we’ve been waiting 7 years for.

We finally got the dragons kicking some ass in The Battle of the Goldroad. We got a wrecking crew of the series’ most popular bad-asses (minus Bronn) going out to hunt down and capturing a soldier of the dead army. We got the long awaited meeting of Jon and Dany. Lots of flash and dazzle that doesn’t include a meaningful death or anything to twist the plot.  If you didn’t see a whitewalker dragon coming then you weren’t paying attention. The knightking was going to have one, it was either going to come in his possession like this past episode, or he’s had one waiting in the wings this whole time ready to unleash it when he marches through Westeros. (Knight King is totally Targaryan- that’s my theory/fact. I think he might even be Rhaegar but that’s a little bit of a stretch I’ll admit)

 

4- Those fucking chains.

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How? How did that dead army just happen to whip out 4 giant anchor chains roughly 1,000,000 feet long? and how did they manage to tie them around the neck of the dragon? Maybe they were giant fish hooks, I’ll buy that. This goes back to point #2 about logistics so I know I shouldn’t look into too much but still, how’d they just appear? Is this supposed to hint at them having ships too? So they can attack by sea? Who knows, but c’mon.  I’ll believe in magic and dragons and zombies all day, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and this degree of logistical nonsense crosses that line.

 

5- Just kill people

Back to point #1. This is a war, kill everyone. Make it hurt the audience. That’s the stuff that makes Thrones different and great.