jon and dany

Welcome to my first season of reviews of Game of Thrones. I’ve read all the books and have taken a deep dive on the book subreddit so I’ll be writing from the perspective of someone who has read George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire and may reference book theories/spoilers.

The thing I love about this season is that it’s been getting straight to the point as fast as possible. I get that people are upset that they’ve been cutting out travel time they would have initially shown in the earlier seasons but we’re seven years into this now and I don’t need to spend episode after episode watching people travel across the country. Going into the episode I was worried I’d need to spend the first half of the episode waiting for everyone to get all together in the Dragon Pit but thankfully the writers kept up the breakneck speed they’ve been using all season.

jon tyrion

Speaking of the Dragon Pit, it’s easy to forget how much history all of the characters have with one another and was great seeing some of those pairings again like Jaime/Brienne, Hound/Mountain (despite it not happening in this episode I choose to believe the CLEGANEBOWL will still happen eventually), Pod/Tyrion/Bronn (I have no idea how I had forgotten that Pod started out as Tyrion’s squire – he’s just been with Brienne so long that that’s who I associate him with the most), Euron/Theon, Hound/Brienne, and of course the Lannister siblings. It’s been 3 seasons since Cersei and Tyrion had a scene together and I had forgotten how amazing those scenes are. When he went to talk to her privately it was the most “classic GOT” the show has felt since they ran out of book material awhile back. I’m still like 87% sure that Cersei is lying about being pregnant. I guess I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually was but I think it makes her character more interesting and is definitely something she would do by having her fake a pregnancy to force her brothers into doing what she wants. When Tyrion deduces she’s preggo it definitely gave off vibes of Cersei leading him on to me.

As I called in my promo picture breakdown last week, Cersei deciding the best course of action is to betray everyone wasn’t shocking but I am glad it finally drove Jaime to abandon her. I’m pretty forgiving of a lot of the things that the show has deviated from the books on but Jaime still being cool with Cersei 2 seasons after he should have abandoned her isn’t one of them. Still drives me nuts he spent all season defending her after she used Wildfire to blow up part of King’s Landing – something he literally killed the Mad King for.

arya littlefinger

Back up in Winterfell we finally got a resolution to that horrible plot. I’m not quite sure what the writers were going for with this this season. I’ve been holding out hope that it was really Sansa and Ayra plotting to take down Littlefinger since it started but the show didn’t make it explicitly clear like I thought it would. As written (and how all my roommates saw it as) Sansa legitimately believed Arya was coming to kill her until this episode when she realized Littlefinger was trying to tear them apart and then spoke with Bran and Arya off screen at some point which as someone who spends a ton of time saying she knows how Littlefinger thinks she has to be pretty fucking stupid to only realize that now. All it would have taken was one line about how they were giving him enough rope to hang himself or something. PLUS all the northern lords apparently do want to abandon Jon?? Definitely thought that would have been a part of tricking Littlefinger into thinking the North was vulnerable but nope apparently “the North remembers” means absolutely fucking nothing in the show. Also where’s the Mormont girl? She should be around still.

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As this is my first Game of Thrones review on Half-Glass some of you may not know but I fucking despise Sam and Gilly. I had been praying they just would have died off screen on the way to Winterfell and just never mentioned again but no luck. Pretty disappointed when they showed up but I do have to give credit where it’s due and Sam’s reaction to Bran’s creepy ass Three Eyed Raven shtick was amazing. I guess it was useful to have him there though because he and Bran finally figured out that Rhegar and Lyanna were actually wed and that Jon is the legitimate heir to the Iron Throne. Although I don’t know how Bran didn’t think to search for that in the past on his own – as he saw last season (just shown to us this episode though) Lyanna tell young Ned that Jon’s real name is Aegon Targaryen which means he should have been like “wait, Targaryen? That’s not Sand. I should check to see if my aunt and Rhegar were actually married.” But hey at least we got Bran narrating how Jon and Dany are related as we watched them bang.

boatsex

Speaking of which, all you people online who are saying how the show is jumping the shark with Jon and Dany since they’re related….are you fucking stupid? Listen no one is more anti-incest in real life than me. Big having sex outside of your family guy. BUT This is a show that’s had a brother/sister relationship since episode one and Jaime is a fan favorite character and Aunt/Nephew isn’t that close. Real life medieval rulers would often marry their cousins and aunt/nephew is just as separated as that. It’s weird by today’s standards but this is a medieval show. Get over it. Plus boatsex was awesome enough to even turn Tyrion into a voyeur.

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The last few minutes were absolutely amazing by the way. Seeing the Night King ride that dragon and take down the wall was a top 5 moment of Game of Thrones for me. As I wrote back in the episode with the Train Loot Attack the reason I started watching Game of Thrones was for the boobs and dragons. Yes I love all the political stuff but when you’re selling someone on the show you tell them about the dragons and tits and seeing an ice dragon take down the massive Wall was everything I wanted it to be. My only question is does this mean Beric and Tormund are dead? I was half expecting a POV show from them from the remaining part of the Wall after it collapsed but we didn’t get one. From what I could tell they were running down the stairs which is right where Viserion the Wight blew up the wall. If this is the end of them I would have actually preferred Tormund going out last week to the wights as that would have been more emotional although getting Tormund and Beric and surprise wights at the start of next season would be crazy too.

Let me know what you thought of the episode and any predictions you have for next season in the comments or on twitter @dgood826