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I know it’s an accepted part of life that the DMV is the worst but I refuse to believe we should be settling for their bullshit anymore. Not in the year 2017. I’m not irritated because it’s an “oh man this is such a pain in the ass” problem (although that’s part of it).  I’m furious because I have a “give me a fucking license plate” problem with no solution in sight. The amount of shit I’m currently going through to get a license plate is all the evidence needed to declare DMVs obsolete and a waste of time/money.

I was waiting in line today and I saw a banner on the wall that said something like “Connecticut DMV celebrates 100 years of service 1917-2017” and that got me thinking… have they improved their system AT ALL over the past century? I’m positive they haven’t, and if they have then it certainly needs another overall which includes something I like to call “technology”. My first trip to this dump took me 4 hours and all I did was hand them a form which I printed and filled out beforehand, then paid them a bunch of money to get a CT drivers license. 4 HOURS TO DO THAT. When you break it down to that basic level it makes you realize the facilities, the employees, the line handlers, and security ARE NOT NEEDED because the entire transaction could have been done online.  Think of the savings to this broke-ass state’s budget if they eliminated 75% of the reason people are forced to go wait in line at the DMV.

It got me thinking about that scene from The Circle in which Emma Watson proposes an idea to streamline paying taxes:

Originally I thought this was crazy. She goes on to say they could take over for voting booths and it went off the rails BUT I’m fully on board now. That scene was supposed to scare us into realizing how much power companies like Google and Facebook have over our lives but honestly? Fuck it, have at it. If I never have to wait in line or fill out another form then I’m fine with whoever they decide should be President. We obviously aren’t capable of doing this ourselves anymore so why does it matter?
Blow it up… MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.

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… I need to keep venting… My story is pretty basic. I moved from Massachusetts to Connecticut and I need to register my car in CT to continue getting insurance to cover it. This should be a very simple process:

  1. I have a car.
  2. That car is currently registered in MA.
  3. I have proof of insurance, bill of sale, copy of the Title which the bank owns until I finish my payments.
  4. I have a brand new CT drivers license and a CT address.
  5. Give me a fucking CT license plate.

I’ve spent a collective 7 hours in line over 3 trips to this god damn place. Same story every time. I wait in line to get a number. Then I wait in another line to get to a desk that directs me to a waiting room. Then my number gets called and I’m told I need something else like another signature or proof of citizenship or blood type or kidney to offer up in exchange for one of their coveted license plates.
I may never get them at this point. I’m probably just going to sell my car and walk to work because it’ll be easier making the 20 mile trek every day on foot rather than having to deal with these assholes at the DMV again. I’m very serious.

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